the lol corner

A white woman, about 50 years old, was seated next to a black man.
Obviously disturbed by this, she called the air Hostess. "Madam, what is
the matter," the hostess asked.
"You obviously do not see it then?" she responded. "You placed me next
to a black man. I do not agree to sit next to someone from such a
repugnant group. Give me an alternative seat."
"Be calm please," the hostess replied. "Almost all the places on this
flight are taken. I will go to see if another place is available." The
Hostess went away and then came back a few minutes later. "Madam, just
as I thought, there are no other available seats in the economy class. I
spoke to the captain and he informed me that there is also no seat in
the business class. All the same, we still have one place in the first
class."
Before the woman could say anything, the hostess continued: "It is not
usual for our company to permit someone from the economy class to sit in
the first class. However, given the circumstances, the captain feels
that it would be scandalous to make someone sit next to someone so
disgusting." She turned to the black guy, and said, "Therefore, Sir, if
you would like to, please collect your hand luggage, a seat awaits you
in first class."
At that moment, the other passengers who were shocked by what they had
just witnessed stood up and applauded. This is a true story.

BAM WHAT THE BITCH GET Lol

i decided to finish watching mlp dragon quest and this person beat me to what i did when i saw
Crackle

0.o

i laughed so fuccking hard i fell on the floor when i saw crackle

my brothers an idiot
he got a DUI and had a court date tomorrow
and decided to tell me this today
he got the DUI........ in january
. . . . . . . . really

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_E96i-u_5E0&list=PL546793E0D9AB4536&index=7&feature=plpp_video

"Of course i wont laugh," said the nurse
"Im a professional.In over twenty years, ive never laughed at a patient."
"Okay then," said fred, and he proceeded to drop his trousers, revealing...the tiniest penis the nurse has ever seen. length and width ,it couldnt have been bigger then an AAA battery.Unable to control herself, the nurse started giggling ,then fell to the floor laughing.
ten minutes later she was able to struggle to her feet and regain her composure. "I am so sorry," she said.
"I dont know what came over me. On my honor as a nurse and a lady, i promise it wont happen again. Now, tell me what seems to be the problem?"
.......Its swollen," fred replied.
she ran out of the room.

A man wakes up in the hospital bandaged from head to foot.
The doctor comes in and says, "Ah, I see you've regained consciousness. Now you probably won't remember, but you were in a huge pile-up on the freeway. You're going to be okay, you'll walk again and everything, however, your penis was severed in the accident and we couldn't find it."
The man groans, but the doctor goes on, "You have $9000 in insurance compensation coming and we now have the technology to build a new penis. They work great but they don't come cheap. It's roughly $1000 an inch."
The man perks up.
"So," the doctor says, "You must decide how many inches you want. But I understand that you have been married for over thirty years and this is something you should discuss with your wife. If you had a five incher before and get a nine incher now she might be a bit put out. If you had a nine incher before and you decide to only invest in a five incher now, she might be disappointed. It's important that she plays a role in helping you make a decision."
The man agrees to talk it over with his wife.
The doctor comes back the next day, "So, have you spoken with your wife?"
"Yes I have," says the man.
"And has she helped you make a decision?"
"Yes" says the man.
"What is your decision?" asks the doctor
"We're getting granite counter tops." LMAO

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Veg63B8ofnQ

A Man was walking down a street when he heard a voice from behind, ' If you take one more step, a brick will fall down on your head and kill you.'
The man stopped and a big brick fell right in front of him. The man was astonished. He went on, and after a while he was going to cross the road. Once again the voice shouted, ' Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step a car will run over you, and you will die.'
The man did as he was instructed, just as a car came careening around the corner, barely missing him.
The man asked. ' Who are you? '
' I am your guardian angel, ' the voice answered.
'Oh, yeah? ' the man asked 'And where the hell were you when I got married? ' LMAO

well im playing pikmin 2 on the wii and im seriously ocd about them being fast and stronger
leaf pikmin are average speed average str

bud pikmin are slightly higher in both

flower pikmin are the stronger of the 3
and when im in the most annoying cave atm where the boss of the cave appears in floor 1-5

well im in area 3 atm and this fucking blowhog is driving me crazy
first time i did it i got it almost dead. it went in the air and blew off all the petals on my flower pikmin turning them leaf
OMG
second time i did the same thing but no leaf pikmin but i had used 30 and the other 30 were at the ship. i had already searched the entire area to the left of the ship and no mob on it was there so i just get back and take 20 pikmin 10 bulbmin to fight that blowhog.
30 pikmin are at the ship and this fuccking bulbmin comes from the left side of the area and starts eating my pikmin near the ship
big one
so i turnd the wii off again.
3rd time the blowhog is right in my screen and wont hurt my flower pikmin at the distance it is.
this random wollywog jumps from behind me and kills 50
off goes the wii
4th time theres the blowhog and no wollywog. the blowhog is at the other side of the screen and blows air
all i have are leaf pikmin WTFH!
off wii (rageing)
5th time wollywog and blowhog
6th time was perfect
i got every treasure and just as the last one gets to the ship

THE WATERWRAITH LANDS ON EVERY SINGLE ONE OF MY PIKMIN
why am i doing this cave well the last treasure is worth the rage

15 trys going back in for the last item
im FINALY DONE WITH THE CAVE

so i heard on the news that a little girl died in florida by electrocution at a mini golf thing

i decided to go to youtube to see if its there
this is what i get

do you have cock?

This made me laugh! Good for him! ... A Marine was deployed to Afghanistan. While he was there he received a letter from his girlfriend. In the letter she explained that she had slept with two guys while he had been gone and she wanted to break up with him. AND, she wanted pictures of herself back. So the Marine did what any squared-away Marine would do. He went around to his buddies and collected all the unwanted photos of women he could find. He then mailed about 25 pictures of women (with clothes and without) to his girlfriend with the following note: "I don't remember which one you are. Please remove your picture and send the rest back."

da fuck O.o